
In March, we were dealt with some pretty bad news. It was a devastating blow to what we thought our future would be, and I was so lost on what to do next. Sometimes I still am, but I have made some pretty major steps to pull myself out of the stage of situational depression and self-pity. I know some of these things are going to sound easier said than done, but these are the life changes that helped me get my groove back after a forced life change of “involuntary childlessness.”
Start Working Out
I promise you, I don’t give a shit what my jeans size is. However, 3+ years of pregnancies, losing pregnancies, four surgeries, and many months of major fertility drugs REALLY messes with your body. It is about feeling strong again – a feeling I have not experienced in quite a while. I have been going to The Dailey Method for a few months now, and I am STRONGER physically and mentally than I have been in a very very long time. Find something that works for you, in style, proximity, and that fits with your schedule. The environment at The Dailey Method is positive, non-judgmental, and motivating. I am also lucky to have a studio only 1 block from… my new office!
Get a New Job
I understand this is one of those “easier said than done” actions. I had been at Red Door Interactive for the past 7 ½ years – since we moved to San Diego in early 2007. I also got to work with my husband for the past 2 of them, which is a time I will always treasure and feel very lucky to have been able to do. My co-workers were like family (and still are), but with that came constant mental reminders of the past few years. It’s hard to explain, but I had so many deep personal moments and days and breakdowns in that office and I just couldn’t let it go. It was an amazing place to work, and so understanding and flexible through time off and what felt like a million doctor appointments, but since March I just felt lost. So, when I was approached through LinkedIn with an opportunity at a growing San Diego company, I thought it was good timing to explore it and make a big change in my life. The environment, location, and culture of The Control Group seemed like a good match so I took it. It was not an easy decision; I was comfortable at RDI (probably too much so), but I have no regrets and I have been at TCG almost 2 months now. I walk to & from work (over a mile & half per day!) through adorable Little Italy, which also helps me clear my head and enjoy my neighborhood. I work out at the aforementioned The Dailey Method on my lunch breaks, and participate in frequent Nerf Gun battles. I created a Pinterest Board for “Bring to Work Lunches” – so far I’ve been sporadically but increasingly successful on that front. The BEST mental benefit of my new job is that it is a DOG-FRIENDLY OFFICE. Seriously…
Surround Yourself with Animals
Yes, I now get to be around dogs all day, which makes my day. There are about 2-5 dogs in the office on a daily basis; this is truly amazing, literally (and I don’t use that word incorrectly) a dream come true. I have my French Bulldog obsession gratified by sitting next to dad of this snorting bundle of
cuteness, Ryder. I am pretty much besties with Peepers, aka Boston Terrier Problems / @bostonterrierproblems. Of course my sweet Puzzle is still my #1 girl and beyond cute. She has her own instagram profile now - @puzzle_oldladycat.
cuteness, Ryder. I am pretty much besties with Peepers, aka Boston Terrier Problems / @bostonterrierproblems. Of course my sweet Puzzle is still my #1 girl and beyond cute. She has her own instagram profile now - @puzzle_oldladycat.

I also renewed my San Diego Zoo annual pass. Mr. Wu helped me through a lot of rough times, and now it’s fun to visit Aisha & the fam along with every other animal there!
Be Social Again
Start/Keep up with Therapy Appointments

Keep it Real
I did not write this post to announce to the world that “Everything is GREAT! Everything is FINE!” - I am still struggling to accept that I (most likely) will never have a child to complete the Bower Power team, and it has changed me forever. I still feel very alone in this situation since I know very few people who truly understand it. But, I need to make an effort and make choices to enjoy my days, laugh with my amazing husband, and keep moving forward.
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